Taste Trust

After Mary Hannah was born, I began to understand more about God’s parental relationship with me. I am as dependent on Him as an infant is on her parents. I nursed Mary Hannah for about three months, and then I moved her onto formula. Later, as Mary Hannah moved into eating regular, solid foods, I became able to grasp a true wonder. I have fed her hundreds of times, but there was a moment of true understanding one day in the kitchen.

            As is typical with people there were some foods Mary Hannah liked, and some that she did not like. As I was shoveling oatmeal and peaches into her little mouth as quickly as I could, she repeatedly opened her mouth for the spoon. This is not astounding as she was very hungry. But I offered her something new, peas. She willingly opened and closed her mouth and took a big bite of peas. Then as a horrible look spread over her face, she spat them out and shook her head. I wiped her mouth to get those awful peas away, took up the bowl and spoon, and I was surprised when she opened her mouth again. Why? Because she trusted me. In her own little way she demonstrated that she had utter faith that I would not give her something that was bad for her. She opened her mouth because she trusted that I wouldn’t fill her mouth with sand or poison. Even though I had fed her peas which she clearly did not like, she still opened her mouth for me like a little baby bird, secure in the knowledge that I would not feed her something bad.

            This sudden revelation struck me – This is how God wants me to trust Him. He puts good things on my plate, my husband and children, for me to enjoy. When I open my mouth, he feeds me with the foods I am ready for. He puts people in my life to spoon feed me knowledge and lead me to be spiritually filled. He satisfies me with joy and comfort. I eat up his goodness; “my cup overflows” (Psalm 23:5).

            Does this mean that I enjoy every single bite that God has put on my plate? No. I do not like Type 1 Diabetes. I do not like that Sarah only had 14 years to taste her own life and to flavor mine. I do not like measuring every bite of food that my children eat and then medicating them for it. I do not like looking at candy as both medicine and poison. I do not like worrying about their blood sugars. I find poking them with needles, insulin pumps, and glucose monitors distasteful. I chew on worry every time they are ill, wondering if they will need hospitalization. I detest wondering every night if they will wake up in the morning.

            BUT – I open my mouth anyway. I drink and eat of what God gives me daily because I trust in Him. I may not like my daily meals of good and bad dishes, but I can examine each taste of sour bitterness for a burst of sweetness on my tongue. I taste laughter from my children’s jokes; I taste their salty, sweaty tears. I gorge on the purity of their embraces in the aftertaste of their coppery blood. I delight in their sugary, sweet kisses on my face; I taste their tangy bitterness at Type 1 Diabetes. I drink in their successes, their imaginations, and their music; I find their defeats distasteful. And I would not trade the richest most exotic fruit for the multitude of flavors that they bring into my life. How we appreciate the sweetness when bitterness is also present.

            My daughter taught me how to trust God. I may not always like what he serves me, though certainly, I begin to see how a cup of bitterness may complement this banquet that is my life. If I only taste good things, how can I learn to appreciate them? “One who is full loathes honey, but to one who is hungry everything bitter is sweet” (Prov 27:7). I am reminded to hunger after God and trust that he will fill me with good fruits. Like Mary Hannah, I continue opening my mouth to take in whatever food God gives to me.

Metaphors and Onions

I began by reading an article on autobiography by James Olney entitled Metaphors of Self. One of the elements in his analysis of autobiography is a “duplex metaphor” which essentially is the author analyzing himself at a previous point in his life when he was analyzing himself. (Olney is much more graceful in his language. I like calling it a meta-metaphor) I have several examples of this in readings for class, but I am trying to get the idea into my head concretely enough to write about it. This of course involves me thinking about other examples and trying to find a common thread to follow.

Unfortunately, my threads are not at all logical. You might say that my train of thought has no tracks. I came up with one example from The Onion. It was an article about a new game that is available in which you play a character who is playing a massive online multiplayer game: World of World of Warcraft. If you want to see the report click here: http://www.theonion.com/video/warcraft-sequel-lets-gamers-play-a-character-playi,14240/

At any rate I brought this random association up with Jeff, asked for some more reasonable examples, and he offered some suggestions. Here is a sample of how my brain functions (or doesn’t).

Me: I read about autobiography theory and the critic speaks about metaphor simplex (just a basic metaphor) and duplex (kind of a meta - metaphor. It is analyzing yourself analyzing yourself.) I am trying to put that into words and context that make sense to me

Unfortunately all I have come up with the the Onion Article about playing World of World of Warcraft.

Jeff: Meta thinking is simply thinking about how you think. When I talk to families about hidden family dynamics, I raise their awareness about unspoken rules and help them think about how they think as a family and how it affects their behavior. (He’s a therapist.)

Me: Yes I know. But I think there is an error in my positronic nets which does not allow me to make reasonable and valid associations. Maybe I should stop reading the Onion . . .

Jeff: Catcher in the Rye is a good example, because Holden is on a trip where he learns about himself and even thinks about himself and his behavior. The self-analysis of a character of a story, who is also subject to analysis would be a good example, I think.

Perhaps the movie, Being John Malkovich would be a good example of duplex metaphor.

Me: I have several examples from the reading that we have done, and I even like the concept. I just seem to only be able to think up to a point and then I hit my head into the same story or idea over and over without moving deeper into the layers of the concept. Of course an onion has layers . . .

Jeff: So do ogres.

Me: Great. Now I want a parfait.

Jeff: Everybody likes a parfait.

How about Groundhog Day?

In a sense, Murray's character has to analyze his performance from the day before in order to change himself...

Me: Now I'm thinking about sailing. . .

Jeff: Random . . .

For those of you who don’t follow my very tenuous leaps of logic that last one is from “What about Bob?”

Someone please tell me that I can turn my brain back on so that I can make actual literary associations.

Similie, Internet and food

Mary Hannah (10) takes after me in many ways. One particular way is her love of language. She enjoys wordplay and making odd comparisons. Last night she was complaining about how slow our wireless is at home.
She said, "Matt's internet is like drinking a glass of water. Leah's internet is like swallowing a pill that gets stuck but eventually goes on down. Our internet is like chewing a really fatty piece of meat. It's not going anywhere."

Where does she come up with this stuff?

Am

How to be a Stretched out Mom

I entered a contest to describe how I am a "Do-it-all" Mom. The entry essay had to be only 1500 characters (including spaces) which is just not enough space to write details. Here is the entry I started out with before I cut it in half. Anyone else have wonderful ideas to keep everyone prepared for daily life?

As the Stretched-out-Mom of three very involved kiddos, I have developed several plans for keeping my kiddos on track, ready for school, and prepared for their after school activities. Two of my 3 kids are Type 1 Diabetics which adds another level of preparedness to every day. I work full0time for a university and my husband is a therapist. This year I am going to be working with the children’s chorus in our town. This school year is going to be an especially busy time for all of us because I am starting graduate school. The routines that we use at home are designed to make everyone’s day easy.

Among the routines that our family has established are breakfast and dinner menus, chore charts, and after school schedules, with time left over for family meals, cuddles on the couch and stories at bedtime. The establishment of these routines makes each day go more smoothly. Not that every day is a walk in the park, but if you express your expectations to your children, they don’t have much to complain about when it is time to clean up or take baths.

Most of our routines are outlined on the refrigerator. The kitchen is the center of the home and so the kids are visually reminded each time they walk through or get a snack. Our breakfast menu is the same each week so there is no time wasted in deciding what they want for breakfast. That doesn’t mean breakfast is boring, however. We have granola and fruit, yogurt, a special breakfast (muffins, pancakes, scrambled eggs, etc.) toaster waffles (because that’s a family favorite) and cereal. When we shop for groceries, the kids choose the fruit, the yogurt flavor, the special meal, etc. so that they are a part of the planning process. Our evening meals are much the same. They each take one night to choose the meal and help prepare it. This way they are sure to have something they really like to eat, and also they develop math skills, cooking skills, and nutritional knowledge. We emphasize making good choices in what we eat.

Also on the fridge are chore charts. We have an allowance each day if they do 5 simple tasks. If they do not complete them, then no allowance. We chose: complete homework, shower and tidy the bathroom after you are done, choose your clothes for tomorrow, pick up your room (for about 10 minutes) and pick up your area of the house (they picked the area they would be responsible for: living room, art cabinet, bathroom cabinet.) Additionally, they have other chores they can choose to earn spending money. For example they can, put away dishes, vacuum, do a load of laundry, or mow the yard. This way, they can’t complain about not having spending money. They always have an opportunity to earn some.

After school, they eat snack and take a break, then they have to do homework. In this way the homework is done before dance, boy scouts, play practice, etc. When we get through with our out of school activities, we cook and eat dinner together, and have time before bed to enjoy our family. We only allow electronics on the weekends, so the tv and computer are not distractions.

Sometimes it is hard to keep all of these balls in the air, but each day that the kids do the routine makes it easier.

ELE - 6yr old Adrenaline Junkie

Sea World has a few roller coasters and a waterpark in addition to all the animal exhibits. We offered the kids a chance to ride the Steel Eel, A basic roller coaster with a pretty good drop on the first hill. Jeff, MH and ELE decided to ride it. I was sure that MH and Jeff would enjoy it, but I was a little apprehensive about ELE. In fact another mom got off the ride just before ELE got on and warned me that ELE might not ever forgive me for talking her into going on the ride. As soon as the ride was over, Ethan and I went around to the ride exit. ELE came off moaning, holding her head and her stomach. I asked her how the ride was and she said “oh, I’m dizzy and my stomach is all wobbly and I want to do it again!” which of course made me laugh because of the drama.

Later we headed to the water park because the kids had never been. We tried out the lazy river, the wave pool and then decided to go on the water slides. It was quite a hike up the stairs. When our turn came, I was going to go first, then the kids and Jeff last. That way I would be there at the end to greet them, and Jeff could keep track of them up top. At the top there were 4 choices. I picked the next open one. ELE decided to go down the same one I chose. So off I went. I didn’t realize that this water slide was a PITCH BLACK VORTEX OF DOOM! Ok maybe it wasn’t that bad, but I found it unnerving to be zipping down a tunnel and not able to see at all where I was going or which way the next turn was. There were a couple of drops where I left the tube. About halfway down, I thought, “Oh no ELE’s not going to like this!” Ele doesn’t like the dark, or being alone, or surprises really. I figured this was a bad combination. At the bottom I got out of the pool and waited for ELE. She was a little longer coming down than I thought. Then finally, here she came, screaming and laughing and begging to do it again. Turns out, the reason that she took so long was that she fell out of the inner tube and had to climb back in. After Jeff, MH and Ethan all made it down to the bottom it was time to go home. Naturally the kids were unhappy about this, but that is all in a day’s fun.

I believe that ELE will have a fabulous time at Disney Land later this year. I hope Uncle Chris can keep up with her.

Worth the Wait

My sweet husband told me on my birthday that my present was ordered, but not ready yet. I wasn't really expecting anything due to our limited budget, but it was nice surprise to know that something special was coming. I could not have predicted what he got for me.

I love steampunk. I enjoy the sci-fi aspects, the victorian touches, the imagination and industry. Not only it is lots of fun, it is generally creative and artistic. I haven't steampunked our house (though I would like to) and I only have enough clothes to come up with vaguely steamy outfits. I am planning to refashion our Christmas Ornaments into a steampunk theme.

So without further ado. . . My birthday present!

Jeff commissioned this piece for me. It is me in fact. The hat and goggles are currently hanging on my bedpost. My actual shirt is brown, but now I believe I need a creamy colored one like the picture. This is absolutely the awesomest birthday present ever. Oh and thanks Chris Summers for taking on this commission. It is truly  fantastic.

Shiny!

I saw the sea (world)

I have been to Sea World 3 times. The 1st time was in Orlando when I was young. I don't remember a lot about it, but I do remember that my parents didn't want us to sit in the "splash zone." Probably because they didn't want a bunch of stinky drippy kids in the car. Jeff & I also went Sea World on our honeymoon. Again, we didn't sit in the "splash zone." We did go to the dolphin pool, but the dolphins just swam around and ignored all the people.

Recently, we had a chance to take our children to Sea World. I had our plan for the day all laid out. I decided that now it was my chance to decide what the family would do (basically to do what I wanted to do and everyone else should just hush up and go along with it.)

After a little research we (I) decided that first thing we would feed the dolphins. I made ELE and Ethan (MH was off with the girl scouts) stand in a long line in the hot sun to wait for the dolphin feeding time. You would have thought I was torturing them. ELE whined and complained because the was SOOO hot. "I'm BURNING" she repeated. Ethan was less whiny but he didn't want to wait either. I told them to stop complaining and learn to like it.

Finally it was our turn. We paid our $16 for 9 tiny little fish, listened to the talk on how to feed and where it is ok to touch the dolphins, and finally it was our turn. It was a most amazing experience. I finally got to pet a dolphin. It was worth the heat, the sweat, the $16, and even worth touching dead fish. I thought that if I smiled any wider my face might split clean in two.

After visiting the sharks and the coral reef exhibit we met up with the girl scouts and made a plan for the afternoon. I was determined to sit really close at One Ocean (the Shamu show) in order to be splashed and hopefully totally soaked. Jeff stayed up high in the stadium to hold our stuff and take pictures. I pretty much dragged my kids down to the third row where the seats were still wet from the show 3 hours earlier. I explained that this was an experience I had wanted for my whole life. ELE was ready: she wanted to get "soaking" to replace the "burning." As the show progressed we got splashed just a little. It was tantalizing really and I was preparing myself for another disappointment at Sea World. ELE kicked the whining up a notch and Ethan got in on the "I'm hot. Why won't they splash us?" action. I told them to be patient and enjoy the show. It's not often that West Texas kids get to see whales. Finally almost at the end of the show we got splashed 6 TIMES!! I had a mouth and eyes full of very cold salt water and was loving every minute of it. MH was laughing and smiling and wanting more. . . Ethan and ELE were hiding tornado drill style under the bleachers. Ethan was practically screaming "No more! No more" and ELE screamed/cried "I want to go to Daddy." I made them sit up and told them to have fun (that's an order). We certainly weren't hot anymore. I told them, "I've wanted to do this my whole life. You are going to sit here in the Splash Zone and ENJOY IT!" Way to impose my dreams onto my kids. I think maybe ELE is traumatized forever.