Girl Talk

Tonight Mary Hannah said, “Mom, after I get my pajamas on I want to come talk to you alone.” Of course I wondered what it was she needed to talk about privately. Was it time for the “girl talk?” I geared myself up, thinking of ways to explain the “birds and bees” with enough detail to satisfy her need for knowledge, but not so many that she would be over burdened. I needn’t have worried.


When we settled down to cuddle and talk, she told me that when she listens to sweet songs she feels sad like she is growing up too fast. She feels like she’s 12 (so grown up) instead of just 8. So we talked and I reminded her that God made her and planned how she would grow up. We talked about being a kid and not having much responsibility, and how hard it is to take responsibility for herself. I revealed that even at 35 I sometimes feel the same way: too grown up with too many responsibilities. I tried explaining how God starts us out with small responsibilities like turning in spelling assignments on time, and how He moves us to larger responsibilities that come with age. I reassured her that she has plenty of time left to be a little kid.

We have been talking about how she has a huge responsibility in taking care of her body with diabetes. I think that may be the root of her struggle. She still thinks it is ok to grab a handful of M&Ms on the way through the kitchen. We have told her that she can’t do that without getting insulin, and yet she still does it. We haven’t told her all of the dangers to her body if she allows her blood sugar to remain high. We have not wanted to burden her with the knowledge that she could lose kidneys, eyesight, and limbs. We want her life to be as normal as possible.

So how do we teach our children this incremental responsibility? We begin with simple things like putting away toys and clothes. We train them how to answer the phone, wash dishes, fold laundry, & feed the pets. And move on to more advanced expectations. We expect them to start doing these things without being told: to find the intrinsic motivation they need. Then we assign them more responsibilities. And then suddenly they are driving, and dating and off to college where they are on their own. No one is there to hold their hands and tell them what to do. We must take the opportunity when they are young to instill in them a good sense of responsibility and a good work ethic.
As parents we have not only the normal adult responsibilities (job, home food, bills), but also the added responsibility of children’s lives.