Diabetes and Hope

To Hope by John Keats
When by my solitary hearth I sit,
And hateful thoughts enwrap my soul in gloom;
When no fair dreams before my "mind's eye" flit,
And the bare heath of life presents no bloom;
Sweet Hope, ethereal balm upon me shed,
And wave thy silver pinions o'er my head!
Stanza 1


I am blessed in many ways. I can’t begin to count the blessings that God has given to me: children, husband, family, work, home. Sometimes though, even when I am surrounded by my blessings, I feel despair. I allow the problems that I have to drag me down into depression and gloom, and all I can see are my difficulties and my seemingly insurmountable issues.
See, one of my greatest blessings is continually tied up in one of my greatest fears. My children are joy of my life. They fill me up on ways I never could have imagined. I look forward to being at home with them so that we can cuddle, talk about their days, color, play with legos and blocks, read, and just spend time wrapped in love. Now for my difficulty and fear. My oldest 2 children have Type 1 diabetes. My middle child, Ethan, was diagnosed in 2004 at 18 months old. Because it is so unusual for a child under age 5 to develop the disease, diagnosis took a long time, and we almost lost him. (There’s a blessing: we still have him.) My oldest daughter, Mary Hannah was diagnosed with Type 1 this year. (There’s another blessing: we caught it early.) Now we are carefully watching our youngest child for signs of the disease. (There’s another blessing: we know what to look for.) So my greatest joys and struggles are all bound up together. It is so easy to feel the victim in this situation. We cry out to God, “Why us? Why now? Why 2 of our kids?” We are filled with worry about the most mundane things. We allow ourselves to dwell on the hopelessness of the situation.
Now on to the hope. With diagnosis comes hope of survival. With treatment comes the hope of healthy fulfilling lives. And with advancements in medicine, research and treatment, comes a hope for a cure.

Sometimes we have to go hunting for hope. It seems elusive, slippery. We must search for it in unusual areas. My husband and I work toward bringing hope to other families with Type 1 kids.

Hope is not an easy thing to hold onto. The following scripture tells us that we must “be strong.” Sometimes I do not feel like being strong. But in the midst of my weeping and despair I hear God’s voice reminding me that I do have hope in Him and through Him.

Psalm 31:24
Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.